I love it that you shared tour experience so candidly.
I have been doing the vipassana 10 courses for 2 years now. For people who freakout after finding out what it entails, I just have this to say —-
These 10 days are only meant to make you utterly tired of the restless chaotic mind of yours. So much so that you stop taking it too seriously. Period.
Thanks, Vadrevu, for reading my newsletter and for commenting. It was quite brave of you to go for Vipassana twice. I understand what you shared about the experience theoretically, but when I was there, I was just not able to handle myself, so leaving it was the sanest decision at that time. I will surely try to attempt it soon, perhaps after a few years.
Yea. I’d recommend it. I feel we are in such a hyper stimulated environment with the social media and OTT and everything. It is good to switch off sometimes. But I get it that it is not for everyone. 🙂
Thank you for writing this down with such honesty. I've been distracted for quite a long time to just sit and read anything, but this held my attention till the very end. And, the part where you explained how you felt when you saw women walking in and you feeling better about it, brought some ease to me as well while reading. I didn't know that even men feel safer and more comfortable with women's presence.
Thank you for reading Himani. I personally draw a lot of good energy and warmth being in the company of women. I studied in an arts college where I was blessed to find some lovely inspiring women and the kind of work I have been in, I have always found myself in the company of women which has been an incredible sense of support and safety. So, I can't share about others but it is true for me that as a man I feel safe and comfortable in the presence of women :)
It's brave to be vulnerable and honest about something so popular. A lot of retreats and spiritual pursuits are out there and it's understandable they won't cater to everyone. I admire you for trying, and admitting.
Thanks for sharing your honest experience. Instead of thinking of it as a failure to complete 10 days, you could acknowledge the 6 days you did spend in silence. That is a feat in itself.
You did a remarkable job of capturing the slow movement of time and dread upon the realization of how long 10 days can really become. It’s interesting the thing you were trying to leave behind, your overthinking, only amplified once you were there. I oftentimes have the same difficulty even meditating on a much smaller scale, so I can only imagine what 11 hours a day must feel like. Although it was a challenging experience, I’m glad Vipassana was able to help you realize that there was something that you needed to work through and heal from, which is oftentimes difficult to realize in your own busy life. Thanks for sharing about your experience and for writing with such honesty and vulnerability!
Sonika, thank you so much for the beautiful comment and for taking out time to read my work. I am glad to know that you liked my honesty and vulnerability. I feel that the reason why I am able to talk about it so openly now is that I have grown out of that experience and I see the fruit of that experience now. Thank you for your time, makes me feel seen and heard!
For years I have toyed with the idea of Vippasana. Primarily because I am curious where my brain would take me and how it would react to the lack of stimulation but your story is exactly the kind of fear that has stopped me. The truth is, I pretty much foresee my struggle with sitting with my own head. What I am trying to teach myself is that it's one thing to be harsh on yourself, it's another thing to try to see everything as 'feedback' and make observations about yourself. You write well, cheers :)
Thank you so much, Pranali. I hope you experience Vipassana for yourself. It surely is an interesting experiment. I hope my newsletter gives you a balanced perspective on it. It's neither all good, it's neither all bad. Just go with an open mind and don't expect much is all I can say. Have a great week ahead :)
Thank you for sharing your experience of Vipassana. I enjoyed reading it as someone whose curious and wants to try it too in future. I know that it won't be easy but maybe it will be worth it? We'll figure it out I guess.
Thank you so much. I hope you experience Vipassana for yourself. It surely is an interesting experiment. I hope my newsletter gives you a balanced perspective on it. It's neither all good, it's neither all bad. Just go with an open mind and don't expect much is all I can say.
I am not of anyone of your age but I will write of my experience of long age . You can sit alone in your house unaffected by the daily noise if your mind is concentrating on peace of mind . In young age I was at borders where you were in your own hut no noise no radio no tv no friends within the room and still your mind was at peace because I intended to be myself only with my soul . All these courses and art of living are for wannabes. But you did well at least you stayed enough to know the other side of V
Oh my goodness! This was powerful and insightful all in one go. I could feel the juxtaposition - the liveliness of a TFI classroom (2017 Delhi Fellow here ☺️) and the stark quietude of Vipassana...
I've always been in awe of people who sign up for Vipassana. It's the ultimate endurance test. The furthest I've gone with a similar experience, perhaps, is a very intense month-long Yoga Teachers’ Training programme in Rishikesh.
I loved reading every word of this! I enjoy living others’ Vipassana experiences vicariously, because I don't have the courage to take the plunge just yet. More than completion, it is the day-to-day experience that slowly transforms one. More power to you! 💕
Thank you, Shreya! As a fellow TFI teacher, I am sure you could relate to so much of what I shared here.
All I would like to say is that it is totally alright to not go for Vipassana at all.
You may find your peace and quiet at other places. The month-long yoga program sounds like a transformational experience in itself. If there is one thing that I learnt from Vipassana is that there can never be a one-fit solution for everyone. Vipassana works for most people of my context and yet it didn't work for me.
So, I now very consciously choose what to trust as a journey for myself. I hope you stumble upon challenging yet compassionate healing and learning journeys for yourself! :)
It was an interesting read and I loved the honesty. Most people (including me) can't sit with their own thoughts that's why they are glued to different kind of screens. It was indeed a brave decision to sign up for vipasna & also leaving when It became unbearable. Thank you for sharing it with us. It is a reminder that not everything is for everyone :)
Thank you so much Jatin bhai. Thanks for taking the time to read. The main reason why I wanted to write about my experience was to also introduce non - positive experiences to people. My idea is to not discourage people from going but to go with a realistic mindset and expectation. Had I known all of what I wrote perhaps Vipassana would have been very different for me.
Thanks for the article. It was a great reflection on your experience with Vipassana and the internal suffering you faced while you were there. Reading it brought back memories of my own experience, which was incredibly revealing. I had suppressed so many situations from my childhood to adulthood, and during the silence, they all began to surface. It was as if my mind had been waiting for the stillness to finally let these buried emotions rise to the surface. Some moments were difficult, but there was also a sense of clarity—like I was finally able to see and understand parts of myself that had been hidden for so long.
One of the most surprising aspects was the dreams. I had so many vivid ones, almost like my subconscious was telling me stories I had ignored. Some were unsettling, while others felt deeply symbolic, as if they were guiding me toward understanding and healing. It was fascinating how the practice of sitting in silence and observing my breath and sensations could unlock such deep, emotional layers. Looking back, it was an intense yet meaningful journey, and I’m grateful for the insights it provided.
I love it that you shared tour experience so candidly.
I have been doing the vipassana 10 courses for 2 years now. For people who freakout after finding out what it entails, I just have this to say —-
These 10 days are only meant to make you utterly tired of the restless chaotic mind of yours. So much so that you stop taking it too seriously. Period.
Thanks, Vadrevu, for reading my newsletter and for commenting. It was quite brave of you to go for Vipassana twice. I understand what you shared about the experience theoretically, but when I was there, I was just not able to handle myself, so leaving it was the sanest decision at that time. I will surely try to attempt it soon, perhaps after a few years.
Dad Joke Alert: So, you are going to say yes to ‘vaapas aana’? 🤓
Hahahaha good one Yash!
Yea. I’d recommend it. I feel we are in such a hyper stimulated environment with the social media and OTT and everything. It is good to switch off sometimes. But I get it that it is not for everyone. 🙂
I see what you mean. It truly is important to unplug. I hope to try Vipassana soon.
Thank you for writing this down with such honesty. I've been distracted for quite a long time to just sit and read anything, but this held my attention till the very end. And, the part where you explained how you felt when you saw women walking in and you feeling better about it, brought some ease to me as well while reading. I didn't know that even men feel safer and more comfortable with women's presence.
Thank you for reading Himani. I personally draw a lot of good energy and warmth being in the company of women. I studied in an arts college where I was blessed to find some lovely inspiring women and the kind of work I have been in, I have always found myself in the company of women which has been an incredible sense of support and safety. So, I can't share about others but it is true for me that as a man I feel safe and comfortable in the presence of women :)
It's brave to be vulnerable and honest about something so popular. A lot of retreats and spiritual pursuits are out there and it's understandable they won't cater to everyone. I admire you for trying, and admitting.
Thanks a lot, Raksha. Feeling really heard and seen from your comment.
Thanks for sharing your honest experience. Instead of thinking of it as a failure to complete 10 days, you could acknowledge the 6 days you did spend in silence. That is a feat in itself.
Thank you Minaz. Yes, you're right I see myself as quite a champ for even bearing up with those 6 long days.
Btw, Have you done Vipassana?
Not yet but perhaps someday I might. I do the 15 minutes routine at home everyday.
Thanks for sharing Minaz!
You did a remarkable job of capturing the slow movement of time and dread upon the realization of how long 10 days can really become. It’s interesting the thing you were trying to leave behind, your overthinking, only amplified once you were there. I oftentimes have the same difficulty even meditating on a much smaller scale, so I can only imagine what 11 hours a day must feel like. Although it was a challenging experience, I’m glad Vipassana was able to help you realize that there was something that you needed to work through and heal from, which is oftentimes difficult to realize in your own busy life. Thanks for sharing about your experience and for writing with such honesty and vulnerability!
Sonika, thank you so much for the beautiful comment and for taking out time to read my work. I am glad to know that you liked my honesty and vulnerability. I feel that the reason why I am able to talk about it so openly now is that I have grown out of that experience and I see the fruit of that experience now. Thank you for your time, makes me feel seen and heard!
This is so insightful, thank you for sharing!❤️
Thank you so much for reading Adnan bhai. Means the world to me! <3
For years I have toyed with the idea of Vippasana. Primarily because I am curious where my brain would take me and how it would react to the lack of stimulation but your story is exactly the kind of fear that has stopped me. The truth is, I pretty much foresee my struggle with sitting with my own head. What I am trying to teach myself is that it's one thing to be harsh on yourself, it's another thing to try to see everything as 'feedback' and make observations about yourself. You write well, cheers :)
Thank you so much, Pranali. I hope you experience Vipassana for yourself. It surely is an interesting experiment. I hope my newsletter gives you a balanced perspective on it. It's neither all good, it's neither all bad. Just go with an open mind and don't expect much is all I can say. Have a great week ahead :)
Thank you for sharing your experience of Vipassana. I enjoyed reading it as someone whose curious and wants to try it too in future. I know that it won't be easy but maybe it will be worth it? We'll figure it out I guess.
Thank you so much. I hope you experience Vipassana for yourself. It surely is an interesting experiment. I hope my newsletter gives you a balanced perspective on it. It's neither all good, it's neither all bad. Just go with an open mind and don't expect much is all I can say.
I also did 2 10 day courses. And the second time was magic - I felt cleansed from within.
Will I go again in the foreseeable future. Perhaps not.
And then, never say never.
Wow, this is crazy. I am glad to know that it made sense to you! :)
This was a really wonderful and well-written read, Rishabh. Thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities here.
Thank you so much for reading my work Aakriti and a big thanks for the kind compliment :)
I am not of anyone of your age but I will write of my experience of long age . You can sit alone in your house unaffected by the daily noise if your mind is concentrating on peace of mind . In young age I was at borders where you were in your own hut no noise no radio no tv no friends within the room and still your mind was at peace because I intended to be myself only with my soul . All these courses and art of living are for wannabes. But you did well at least you stayed enough to know the other side of V
Thanks for sharing your experience Suresh :)
I would love to know only one thing — have you finally been able to heal yourself ?
About the particular issue that was disturbing me back then, for sure yes. But, now I have other things to heal from :P
Well we all have issues now and then
And healing should always be welcome
Oh my goodness! This was powerful and insightful all in one go. I could feel the juxtaposition - the liveliness of a TFI classroom (2017 Delhi Fellow here ☺️) and the stark quietude of Vipassana...
I've always been in awe of people who sign up for Vipassana. It's the ultimate endurance test. The furthest I've gone with a similar experience, perhaps, is a very intense month-long Yoga Teachers’ Training programme in Rishikesh.
I loved reading every word of this! I enjoy living others’ Vipassana experiences vicariously, because I don't have the courage to take the plunge just yet. More than completion, it is the day-to-day experience that slowly transforms one. More power to you! 💕
Thank you, Shreya! As a fellow TFI teacher, I am sure you could relate to so much of what I shared here.
All I would like to say is that it is totally alright to not go for Vipassana at all.
You may find your peace and quiet at other places. The month-long yoga program sounds like a transformational experience in itself. If there is one thing that I learnt from Vipassana is that there can never be a one-fit solution for everyone. Vipassana works for most people of my context and yet it didn't work for me.
So, I now very consciously choose what to trust as a journey for myself. I hope you stumble upon challenging yet compassionate healing and learning journeys for yourself! :)
It was an interesting read and I loved the honesty. Most people (including me) can't sit with their own thoughts that's why they are glued to different kind of screens. It was indeed a brave decision to sign up for vipasna & also leaving when It became unbearable. Thank you for sharing it with us. It is a reminder that not everything is for everyone :)
Thank you so much for reading Simran. I am really happy to know that you liked the honesty :)
You're bang on with this insight -"It is a reminder that not everything is for everyone"
It took me 6 days of torture and 6 years of reflection to come to this conclusion :P
Loved loved reading this, as usual!
As someone who has been thinking about going to Vipassana for the longest time & been bothered by the same concerns, this was such an insightful read!
Thank you so much Jatin bhai. Thanks for taking the time to read. The main reason why I wanted to write about my experience was to also introduce non - positive experiences to people. My idea is to not discourage people from going but to go with a realistic mindset and expectation. Had I known all of what I wrote perhaps Vipassana would have been very different for me.
Thanks for the article. It was a great reflection on your experience with Vipassana and the internal suffering you faced while you were there. Reading it brought back memories of my own experience, which was incredibly revealing. I had suppressed so many situations from my childhood to adulthood, and during the silence, they all began to surface. It was as if my mind had been waiting for the stillness to finally let these buried emotions rise to the surface. Some moments were difficult, but there was also a sense of clarity—like I was finally able to see and understand parts of myself that had been hidden for so long.
One of the most surprising aspects was the dreams. I had so many vivid ones, almost like my subconscious was telling me stories I had ignored. Some were unsettling, while others felt deeply symbolic, as if they were guiding me toward understanding and healing. It was fascinating how the practice of sitting in silence and observing my breath and sensations could unlock such deep, emotional layers. Looking back, it was an intense yet meaningful journey, and I’m grateful for the insights it provided.