If I Had More Time
I Would Have Written a Shorter Letter
The above quote has been my favourite quote this month. I even researched it quite a bit and made a video about it.
I’ve been reflecting on it the most over the past 2-3 days. Saturdays are newsletter days, and when I’m travelling, I find it hard to find the space to sit and write a newsletter. I always manage to find the time and intent but never the mental space. You see, I love long-form pieces and writing that comes straight from the heart, without the pressure of adhering to a particular format, word count, or algorithm. It’s only here on Substack that I feel I have that privilege. To discount this and write a shorter newsletter on days when I have limited mental space feels like cheating my craft.
I am also discovering that it can be a good exercise for me to just show up every Saturday, no matter what I send in a newsletter—no matter how long or short it is. I trust myself enough to know that, whatever I produce, it will not be pure nonsense and will at least add some value to the readers.
In my previous newsletter, I wrote about the photography workshops I facilitated across Uttar Pradesh. I started in Mahoba District and then travelled to Kanpur, Banaras, and Lucknow. I was really excited to visit these three towns. Having heard so much about them since my childhood and seen them countless times in media and films, I wondered what they would feel, smell, and look like—among many other things.
Kanpur
I took the bus from Mahoba to Kanpur, a journey of roughly five hours. The bus was a simple state transport bus, and since I got the front seat, it was a comfortable and adventurous ride. Luckily, I had planned my water intake wisely, so I didn’t feel the urge to pee during the trip; otherwise, it would have been a disaster.
At the bus stop, I met Shivam Ji, who escorted me to the centre where I was supposed to stay and facilitate the workshop. From the moment I got off the bus to the moment I reached the centre, my eyes kept scanning everything I came across. There was a lot of dust, traffic, and people—the hallmark of any Indian city. From what little I saw, there wasn’t a single distinct cultural point I could observe. Regardless, the centre looked good. Three stories tall, I was stationed on the first floor in a humble guest room. The workshop space was on the floor above, and the terrace doubled as a kitchen and dining area. I took bath, napped for a while, and finished some work. The next two days were workshop days, and I was excited to finally settle into a more comfortable environment compared to the long commutes we endured in Mahoba.
My night, however, was horrible. Despite staying in a decent room, I was attacked by mosquitoes. Every possible remedy was deployed, but nothing worked. I eventually fell asleep listening to some songs late in the night and woke up irritated. Luckily, the workshop didn’t start until after lunch, so I had a leisurely morning to recover. The next two days were fully packed with the workshop.
The kids were fun—many were very young, both in age and height, which made them the class distractions. I often found myself playing with them during sessions or using their examples to make them feel seen. The expansive space allowed us to experiment more with photography projects! One group decided to make a vlog, while others focused on photo stories. We played lots of games, and since the kids stayed on campus, we bonded even more.
After the workshop, I went for a short ride to explore Kanpur but was disappointed by the dust, traffic, noise, and lack of anything noteworthy. Banaras was my next destination, so I looked forward to exploring what the acclaimed spiritual land had to offer this creative pilgrim. The next morning I took off to Banaras via the train.
To see the wonderful photographs shot by the children, check out the document below which is a compiled PDF of all their beautiful documented photo - stories.
Banaras
In Banaras, the centre was quite far from the main town, which was a bit of a turnoff considering how excited I was to explore Banaras in my free time. Nevertheless, I took a short nap upon reaching the centre and left to explore the ghats of Banaras and attend the aarti. My auto took an hour to reach the nearest point possible from the ghats and left me a 30-minute walking distance from the actual ghats. There was crazy traffic everywhere, and I was just walking straight, listening to the multiple sounds ringing in my ears from all directions. The prelude to the first sight of the ghats got so elongated by the traffic and crowds that, when I finally did see the ghat, it felt quite average. I forced myself to feel spiritual or to catch the energy but then laughed at myself, knowing it was quite a Westerner thing to do. The number of people gathered there outnumbered the total people I had seen in the past few months combined. I felt a bit scared to even attempt to enter the crowd. From where I stood, nothing was visible—just a sea of people everywhere.
I turned back and was reminded of a friend who was also visiting Banaras to travel. We coordinated and decided to meet in a while. Meanwhile, I found a comparatively better route to go toward the banks of the Ganga to see the aarti. I found some space on a small boat, seated upon which I watched the 30-minute aarti. I came out of the aarti as emotionless as I had gone in. I swear I did surrender there for a while, but the crowd all around just didn’t let me completely cool down. I think silence and being alone do it for me more naturally. I made a mental promise to come back to Banaras next time with more space and time.
My friend and I met and walked all the way to the famous Assi Ghat, the setting for so many movies, books, paintings, and references. All that Kanpur was devoid of, Banaras was abundant in. I enjoyed the long walk, the sight of sadhus all around, youngsters roaming on the ghats, and the shopkeepers.
After a quick dinner and having satiated my desire to see the ghats, I was back at the centre to call it a night.
The next two days of the workshop were at the centre. The kids were older, both in height and grade, which made the workshop all the more interesting. I tried to play around with the rigour a bit, and the kids responded well. For the shooting, we took the kids to a museum a few steps away from the centre. It was a good experiment for me as well, to guide the students in a new, open environment and help them see things they might not be exposed to in their everyday life. One group decided to make a vlog, while the other focused on photo stories.
After the presentations the next day, the kids left for their villages, and I retired to my room to finish some important assignments. I really wanted to visit a few more places around, but I had zero energy left to do anything. I went for a short walk in the evening and packed myself and all my belongings to prepare for the last leg of the trip: Lucknow.
To see the wonderful photographs shot by the children, check out the document below which is a compiled PDF of all their beautiful documented photo - stories.
Lucknow
My train from Banaras to Lucknow was supposed to take eight hours for a distance of barely 300 kilometres. I tried to look at the glass half full and found myself on the top berth, sleeping for six hours nonstop. The fatigue was truly catching up. My body felt sleepy and tired, but there was one more location to pull off! As I stepped out of Lucknow and drove two hours away from the city to my last location, the excitement in me reignited, and I knew my body would support me for a few more days.
Lucknow had a huge centre, and the room I stayed in was beautiful. The centre was so far from the city that at night, I could hear the rustling of tree leaves and even my own breathing. I loved the silence there. It felt like the perfect conclusion to a trip that had taken me all over the place!
The next two days of the workshop were the last, so there was a constant reminder in my head to make the most of it—both as a teacher and for the students. I found myself being a lot more easygoing with the students, laughing more, and yet still wanting them to create magic. The experience at Lucknow was the most memorable. The kids were much more interactive, responsive, opened up quite fast, and were also really funny. I played a lot of games with them, and they warmed up to me. Some even came knocking at my door at 6 a.m. to wake me up for the workshop (which was supposed to start at 9 a.m.)!
The end of the workshop marked the conclusion of all the workshops, and I was left with a heavy heart, having wrapped up one of the most interesting and fun fortnights of the year.
After the workshop ended, I was dropped back to the city at a friend’s home. It was almost evening, and although I was really tired, I couldn’t help but feel excited to spend time with my friends and explore Lucknow at night.
Out of all the cities, Lucknow surprised me the most. I had expected it to be a noisy, underdeveloped small town, but it wowed me beyond words. Honestly, it had better roads, culture, and tree cover than any city I had been to in the past few months—especially the metro cities. Since it was night, I couldn’t see much, but all that I saw was enough to call me back.
To see the wonderful photographs shot by the children, check out the document below which is a compiled PDF of all their beautiful documented photo - stories.
The next morning, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and left early to catch my train to Dehradun for a wedding.
After such a beautiful two weeks, returning home to the usual daily routine would have been a bit sad. Luckily, the wedding in Dehradun served as the perfect gear shift. I was still deprived of rest and had to stretch myself for two more days, but it was nice to spend time with friends, make some new ones, and enjoy delicious food across cuisines!
I write today from my home in Noida, where I’ll be stationed for another week before heading back to my studio/home in Bir. Honestly, this time, I didn’t even get enough time to properly think about or miss my life in Bir. However, I do miss being more regular and intentional with my writing, and I’m certainly feeling guilty for not spending enough time editing my book!
Well, those conversations are better left in my head.
I invite you to reflect and write on the following prompt:
Write about a place you visited for the first time. Describe the sights, sounds, and smells, and share what surprised you most about the experience.
As a feature of all my newsletters, I share one song, one book, one plant-based meal, one film/video that inspired me, and some photographic updates from my life.
Song: I recommend this song - Safar
Book/Newsletter: I read अक्टूबर जंक्शन (October Junction) this week. Loved it.
Meal: I had simple buffet meals at every location. The food at the wedding was brilliant—wish I had taken a few photos.
Film/Video: I am going to watch All We Imagine as Light tonight. Go watch it, support good cinema!
Photographs: Already shared too many! Let me know if you like any.
Thank you for reading my newsletter! I hope you enjoyed reading it. If you liked my work, please consider subscribing. I write weekly on topics ranging from photography and nostalgia to loneliness and living as an artist. If you have any feedback, I would love to hear from you—feel free to email or comment! Wishing you a wonderful week ahead, and I look forward to seeing you next week!
This made me miss traveling a lot! seems like quite a heartfelt experience for you and I must say pictures are cute. Yet to watch photos in pdf but a series of pictures u posted says, 'Life' ✨
This is quite the journey! I know what you are doing isn't easy but it sounds really fulfilling and impactful! Wishing for more such amazing projects for you and can't wait to learn from you in the mindful writing workshop.