Food for soul - Writing Spaces

The story of how I fought my fears and presented my work to an audience (live)!

From where I'm writing, the sun has just set, and I've just pulled my curtains. I only put on the house lights when the curtains are pulled. Even though the white light in my house in Bir isn’t the most romantic setting for writing, I’m super excited to be writing to everyone! There’s a lot I have to share :)

Two weeks back, I started Creative Writing Laboratory spaces both online and offline. As of now, I have conducted 2 online spaces and 1 offline space.

My experience of holding both spaces was a whirlpool of panic followed by a sense of calm and bliss. As if someone put me in the Sahara desert in summer and then directly pulled me to the cold wind of the mountains. Let me give you some context.

Since my childhood days, speaking in public was my biggest nightmare. I still feel goosebumps thinking of the time when my name used to be called for presentations and debates and I had to come in front of 40 live human beings and talk about something.

I literally have goosebumps now!!

Over the years, it got slightly better. I made genuine efforts and did many experiments to come out of my fear of public speaking or facilitating.

My efforts were not aligned towards wanting to ‘fix myself’ but I could foresee that the field of work that I am entering, would be a very important skill to be able to hold a safe, intimate and creative space.

My experiments were quite a grandeur if you ask me. Twice, I took out 20 days of my life and devoted it to co-holding and facilitating intimate spaces, experiences and journeys with my most favourite people in the world at Youth Alliance.

I knew that if I could practice and build muscle for facilitation in the company of trusted friends and mentors, I could slowly get the courage to take it to different circles and spaces.

However, in both journeys, I couldn’t take the leap or raise my hand to volunteer to facilitate big circles or spaces. I did a few things here and there but the elephant in the room still needs redressal.

Two weeks back, out of feeling pregnant with the wish to hold a creative space and just talk about writing and creativity, I asked some of my friends from Youth Alliance to join me in an attempt to hold a space for everyone.

Immediately, the friends' WhatsApp group buzzed with a series of 'YES' and 'YAYY', and just as quickly, my mind and heart buzzed with anxiety.

What did I get myself into? Why couldn't I have postponed it for later? What the hell would I do in the space anyway?

I felt like an imposter.

One relief was that it was just my friends and if I f*cked up it would not show up in NDTV as I was overthinking.

Well, as it turned out. The space was quite nice even by my standards. By the end of it, I KNEW I had done a good job. I KNEW that people felt something by the end of it and if nothing, it was surely not a waste of time.

Here are my people! Cheering for me and believing in me. If any of you are reading this, I am super grateful.

If you follow me on other platforms, perhaps you have seen this photo a million times already! So here’s another one (revealing it for the first time!!)

So the thing is, after the first space, I just didn’t feel like stopping so I did another one! My mind was against the idea of doing it but my heart craved it so on Thursday last week, I sent out a message to a few friends and they were kind enough to join impromptu within 24 hours of me inviting them!

The platform which I have been using to hold these spaces and facilitate the process was kind enough to give a boost to my confidence as I received this in my mail today. Super excited to share this with all of you :)

Just feels nice to get some recognition and reassurance! :)

I also held an offline space here in Bir in the forest. It was more immersive, personal and deep. I held it for a few writer friends and that experience although bittersweet, got me ready to facilitate writing spaces.

So, here’s the news! I am holding a space this weekend. Saturday, 11 am.

It’s free but you have to pay with your attention, curiosity and feedback :)
Hope to see some of you there. If time doesn’t permit or if there are commitments already, don’t worry I will be doing this EVERY WEEK! (I promise)

As a feature of all my newsletters, I will be sharing one song, one book, one plant-based meal, one YouTube video that inspired me, and some photographic updates from my life.

• I am reading 'Bird by Bird' (for the second time) by Anne Lamott. ( A must-read for all writers)

• Yesterday, I made millet and black chana (chickpeas) for lunch

• I watched this TED Talk by Anne Lamott (again)
  She is not only an amazing writer but also an amazing orator!

• I am hooked on this song this week - Baadal by Sanjith Hegde. I was hooked on his song Gulaabo last week and now it’s Baadal. I tend to fall head over heels in love with an artist even if I like one of their songs and then I don’t stop until I am done obsessively listening to their entire discography so expect Sanjith’s name time and again for the next few weeks :)

• Lastly, here’s a photograph I took just a while back :P

  I didn’t have any nice photos from the week so I went out on the terrace of my house and shot this. Thanks to the lovely evening light, it turned out well :)

Thank you for your time! If you like what I share, do share it with your friends and family.

If you have any feedback, please write it down in the comments below or message me anytime.

Have a lovely week ahead! Hope to see you at the writing space :)